Maybe I'll use this blog more now.

I'll keep what I have as of now for the sake of preservation, but from here on I'd hope that anything I have to say on here is of greater substance and not only interesting for the sake of being esoteric.

I'm sure I'll keep regretting everything I ever do, and with this too.  Like probably this sentence for example.
There's no such thing as a person that's actually "self-aware". To that I'd like to say "I don't give a shit" but that's obviously not true. I'm trying too hard to be self-aware and self depreciating, like how I'm doing with this sentence.
"Whatever".

Seriously though I'll try to do something on here soon.
To all 0 of you.

The slowing down of circles and movements

Either way, science seems to think that people are stupid and the world is going to end every day now.

People are like, "What? No man, fuck that, I don't want the world to end!".

But all the science people were like, "No, we're sorry mam but it's gonna happen. For sure. Any damning day now."

So then we took all of our sweaters.

And we took all of our records.

And we took all of our shirts and sleeves,

cars and TV's,

and we threw them into one big hole in the ground.

We held a candlelight vigil for them. Then we set it on fire.

We set it on fucking fire until it turned into static ash.

We get to live a little bit longer thankfully. More of us die now, though. A lot of times the kids go play in the ash and get electrocuted.

But any time now, it's gonna come. The day where all of our hair burns out of our sockets and we turn inside out.

"Tell my wife that I loved her".

Well I'm graduating

And that pretty much says it all.

Faced (working title)

In the peak of my eye as the fanblades spin
The colors fade and time begins
The music grows from a far away place
And the girl talks with her smiling face

Fire speaks and says its names
Volume turns and raises stakes
dogs and pandas gaze the scene
And rest and breathe their deepest breathes

Plans with her to talk of the things
That can tear ground up or around at its seams
Or keep it in place , to grow better fruits
And blossom the petals of her loving hues

At the times where gravity works
It's a beautiful thing, with the feat of the twirl
And the pull on my mind that tells me to hide
In stalls or halls, be what it decides

And at the times when the ground breaks loose
And platforms form and build something of use
I climb the footholds I made with my mind
And look somewhere new and for homes nearby

And were this piece to be so trite
I'd say that this is and that I'm taken in flight
And slowly her hand grabs mine for a shake
And a slap on the wrist for performance's sake

But leave it be for the latter two lines
This is some thing that's still held in time
Waiting for her to grab my feet
And spin me in circles to see me freak

And the patient look on the face of this
Gives thoughts of being happy in place
Down in a hole with warm and cold
And to have it shared with a heart of gold

AFTER MULTIPLE LANGUAGE TRANSLATIONS

I like this little thing called a light.
When I went to the market and it split in two,
Little flowers grew where they dropped,
and the ashes on the windows and the scars on the ground
assured me that the world was safe,
that you weren't leaving me anytime soon,
and that the world will keep coming, moving and spinning.



I love the light in this case.
The autumn flowers that grow and solo work.
I promised that the world is safe
I do not leave as soon as possible
And the world moves, and rotates production.

High School Talent Crap

So for some reason, I decided to do Mr. Cosby. Essentially, this is like a talent show for guys at my high school.

I originally didn't make the cut because I f'ed up the application by not being specific enough, but when one of the people quit, I got in. So that's pretty cool.

It feels really out of place doing this. Most of the other kids doing this are more "popular" or "cool" or whatever weird word best describes it. Not that I'm "unpopular" or "uncool" (if you can't already tell, I hate using these words), but I'm just not really in that sort of group, and I'm getting nervous that that's going to show while I play my song.

Oh right, my talent is playing guitar. Probably should've said that in the beginning. I wrote a song and I'll be playing it on stage.

Not that I'm nervous of performing in front of crowds or anything, but the fact that I know these people makes it all the more surreal. And at this point my biggest fear is that I'll go out and that nobody will really "hear" my song; that I'll play my song the best I can and that nobody will like it, not because of different musical opinions, but because my composition was bad. Either that or that I'll just f**k up and vomit on the audience or something. One or the other.

The main reason I'm making my self do this is so that I'll be able to play for my class, so that they'll be able to hear me. And I know that if I didn't do this, I'd really regret it, maybe even forever (by the way, remember for a second that I'm a teenager, forever is different to me then it is to a 25+ year old). That's why when I didn't originally make Mr. Cosby, I got so upset. I felt like I missed out on something so important. And on top of that, it was my fault for screwing up on the application.

Either way though, I'm doing this. It better not suck.